I have just finished reading a fanfiction story. While normally that fact would be something reluctantly spoken of, perhaps even with a tinge of embarrassment, sometimes a jewel falls into your lap. Such was this story for me tonight. The story drew me in and kept me reading until the early hours of the morning, not willing to put it down. I knew it was amazing, not because of the hundreds of books I have read or because I only found 2 spelling errors in all 24 chapters (unfortunately, quite a rarity on a fanfiction site!), but because of the emotion it evoked in me.
I could feel the characters pain so intensely and the incredibly analytical mind of the author writing the analytical minds of the characters challenged me to not only appreciate the story and the writing and everything else, but to have a look at myself and my life and a myriad of things within. However what struck me the deepest, was the question that for the author to write so incredibly, in such detail, with such accuracy and reality - what has she faced in her life? What has her journey been? To be honest, I stopped periodically to think about that and to feel for the author - not pity, but to question, and to hope that she has faced what needed to be faced and emerged on the other side in one piece. Arriving at the end of the story, the resolution has mostly reassured me that if she isn't yet okay, she soon will be; perhaps the characters' journey was also partially hers - even if only in emotion rather than actuality.
However this story and all that has come with it has brought up an issue I've been faced with a few times in the last few months in particular: when someone else is going through or has gone through challenging times, and there is nothing I can do to help, how to react, empathise, etc etc - I can't even find words, that's how inept I feel. It has come up so many times in different situations with different people and most likely will continue to do so and quite often where God is taking me that this needs to be dealt with, or at least I need to come to some sort of understanding or conclusion, I believe.
The intense pain I feel on their behalf when hearing or realising the pain that others have experienced, and for some it is accepted as normal. Maybe to them it is, but I still feel that it shouldn't have to be. As I think through it, I suppose this is a questioning of God of sorts, of why people have to undergo such ordeals and pain. I know I have no right to question God and there are many things I may never understand or get a satisfactory answer to, however the injustices do not sit well with me.
So with this knowledge, then I turn to the fact that even though I cannot understand or change these things, how do I sympathise/relate/... to these friends and people on these topics? Will I be allowed in deeper, trusted with these things??? Without going through similar hurts and hardships myself, I'm not sure I can. Yes, I've had one or two massive hurdles that seemed more like giant brick walls at the time and many smaller ones that are simply part of life, but nothing to the extent of some situations.
On the other hand, do I need to? I can empathise where possible, be angry at injustices, but in the end, what is needed? What is wanted by the other person? From my own experience, sometimes simply a sympathetic and listening ear is all that is needed. Yes, our experiences can shape us and become part of who we will become yet they do not need to define us. Accepting a person for who they are currently and who they can become in Christ, listening and loving - if that is not enough then I don't know what is.
Ultimately, I cannot forget that my God is a big God. For every situation and relationship that He places in my path, He equips me - never giving me anything I can't handle WITH Him. And that is really all that matters.
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