Home... is it time yet?

I know I have no right to ask this, but I've been begging God to take me home - to the city He has prepared (Hebrews 11:14-16). Tonight it hit me really hard and I cried out to God - I'm so desperate for Him in every way. I want more and more of Him in my life - all of Him and none of me, walking with Him always.

The reality of hell is settling in - nothing about a fiery pit with a devil who has a tail and a pitchfork; but the fact that hell will be so because of eternal separation from God. Throughout the Bible and psalms in particular, it speaks of God and who He is. He is our shepherd. He is our provider, our healer, he shelters us, protects us, guides us, comforts us, loves us amongst many others. To be separated from that - what does it leave? Nothing. Colossians 1:16 says that we were made BY God, FOR God so how can one think they can live a life apart from Him? And an eternity without Him... too awful to consider.

But as far as wanting to meet Him in that place now, that's what my heart cries out for. To be united with God. But He's saying it's not time yet.

He has many more things to do through me. The question is what are those things and how and when to go about them? What am I to do? I can only know this from seeking after God's will, drawing close to Him and letting Him guide my path.

I seek after You with all my heart, Lord God, do not let me stray from your commands. That I would have ears to hear and eyes to see what You hear and see, that You would open the eyes of my heart to You, Father God and to Your people that while I wait that Your kingdom would come - on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth as it is in heaven... now that's another matter. Is it literal - trying to recreate heaven on earth, is it a state of mind, or is it striving towards having the unity with God that will happen in heaven also as He is with us here on earth...