IF

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways,

then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

-2 Chronicles 7:14

I was in the middle of prayer and bible reading this morning when I felt this massive weight of sadness and grief and started crying so hard that it hurt and my body constricted and was shaking. Tears were coming so fast I could barely see to text a friend to pray. I had no idea what was going on, just that it was God doing something big but I didn't know what. I was confused and didn't know how to react, whether I was to pray for something, but I didn't know what as I started crying aloud and out to God, I didn't have words but he started giving me tongues - words were streaming out but I had no idea what they meant, just this overwhelming feeling of grief and sorrow more powerful than anything I've ever felt in my life. 

Then I started to get a sense of what it was that I was praying, that I was getting some of God's heart about his people and then it turned into a prayer for his people, part of which was: "God you are giving me your heart for your people - your immense sorrow that your people don't want to know you - their eyes and ears are closed, their backs are turned and hearts are cold toward you. How you weep and grieve over your people. O for revival in the church for the world to know you are the LORD God Almighty who was and is and is to come. In these last days your people are depraved - worshipping not just idols of wood and clay, but money, sex, power and THEMSELVES. When will they learn? How many times do you have to teach us before it is too late???" and at the end he gave me a scripture: 2 Chronicles 7:14 - "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land".

After I just felt drained, exhausted and reflective, but without a sense of peace that it was finished. The last few days I have been asking for him to teach me how he wants me to pray and to receive his heart. It seems that is starting to happen but I know he will only give me what I can handle - and the love I have for my parents and wanting them to know him, that times it by every single person in the world who does not know him or those who do a little but not really following him wholeheartedly and that is the heart of God in this. Something so big that only God can bear it, but I have been given a piece of it and as he feels I'm ready, more may come.

Psalm 119

It is clear that there must be difficulties for us in a revelation such as the Bible. If someone were to hand me a book that was as simple to me as the multiplication table, and say, 'This is the Word of God. In it He has revealed His whole will and wisdom,' I would shake my head and say, 'I cannot believe it; that is too easy to be a perfect revelation of infinite wisdom.' There must be, in any complete revelation of God's mind and will and character and being, things hard for the beginner to understand; and the wisest and best of us are but beginners. 

--R.A. Torrey

I went through psalm 119 today. It truly is the prayer of my heart. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live up to it, but I know I'll spend the rest of my life trying to do so. I do so love that it is perfect for reading aloud and speaking it as a prayer from your own heart.

Lord, I am seeking You with all of my heart. Oh that all my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

I pray that I would always live according to your word, Lord. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I am working on hiding your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O Lord; teach me your decrees. I rejoice in following your statutes. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. Please do not hide your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times. May your statutes always be my delight; they are my counsellors. 

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I have recounted my ways; please answer me and teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. When my soul is weary; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.

Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. How I long for your precepts! Preserve my life in your righteousness.

May your unfailing love come to me, O LOrd, your salvation according to your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in your word. Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws. I will always obey your law, for ever and ever. I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame, for I delight in your commands because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees. 

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. When mocked, I do not turn from your law. I remember your ancient laws, O Lord, and I find comfort in them. Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge. In the night I remember your name, O LOrd, and I will keep your law. This has been and will always be my practice: I obey your precepts.

You are my portion, O Lord; I have promised to obey your words. I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise. I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and do not delay to obey your commands. Though the wicked bind me with ropes, I will not forget your law. I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts. The earth is filled with your love, O Lord; teach me your decrees.

Teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though some have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart, I delight in your law. It will be good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of dollars.

Your hands made me and formed me; gave me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word. I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you will afflict me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight. I will meditate on your precepts in all circumstances. May those who fear you turn to me, those who understand your statutes. May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes fall, looking for your promise; I say, "When will you comfort me?". All your commands are trustworthy.

Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. Your laws endure to this day. for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. I will ponder your statutes. To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless.

Oh, how I love your law! I long to meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. As I meditate on your statutes, you give me insight, as I obey your precepts you bring me understanding. I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word. How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. Accept, O Lord, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me our laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law. Your statues are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees. You reject all who stray from our decrees, for their deceitfulness is in vain. My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.

Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees. I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes. 

Your statutes are wonderful; therefore I obey them. The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands. Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name. Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees. Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not always obeyed.

Righteous are you, O Lord, and your laws are right. The statutes you have laid down are righteous; they are fully trustworthy. My zeal wears me out, for my enemies ignore your words. Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them. Your righteousness is everlasting and your law is true. Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight. Your statutes are forever right; give me understanding that I may live.

I call with all my heart; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes. I will rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises. Hear my voice in accordance with your love; preserve my life, O Lord, according to your laws. You are near, O Lord, and all your commands are true. Long ago I learned from your statutes that you established them to last forever.

My heart trembles at your word. I rejoice in your promise like one who finds great spoil. I hate and abhor falsehood but I love your law. Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws. Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. I follow your commands and I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.

May my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for you, O Lord, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands. 

Father God, may every word I have written here, every prayer and plea from my lips be spoken in truth. I love you, Lord and and I delight in your word. As I read and meditate over your words - now and forever - please give me discernment, wisdom and understanding. Please give me the strength and courage to obey all that you teach and all that you would ask of me; that my life may be pleasing in your sight. 

His Power is Made Perfect in Weakness

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" - Phil. 4:4.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor. 12:9-10.

So once we assess our motives in what we do, the other side of things is that when stuff happens, how do we react?

EVERYTHING SHOULD LEAD US TO WORSHIP. Definitely the good things that happen, but even in the negative - that is when it's hardest yet most important. Of course it is easy to worship when all is well, but the thing is to let the negative situations push us into the comfort of God's arms, to acknowledge our lack of control and reach out for God's help as Jesus did.

He is our ultimate example. Recently, God gave an amazing insight to a friend of mine and it is now slowly sinking itself into my mind: What was Jesus' hardest moment? The cross. Imagine what He must have been going through and thinking in those last moments when He called out, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matt. 27:46). A time of ultimate pain and separation from the Father. Yet the last words out of His mouth were "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit" (Luke 23:46). In Jesus' darkest and hardest moment, He chose to commit Himself to the Lord.

Let us be led, guided and prompted by Jesus' example.

All about God

A whirlpool. An accurate way to describe my mind right now. There are so many different thoughts swirling around up there in different shapes, sizes, colours but they're slowly melding and being pulled towards the centre to one main theme: God.
IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD.

Consider the controversial topic of conversion. Discussing 'Pascal's gambit', someone suggested it would be ideal to mention this to my non-Christian parents. However that's purely logic and conversion is a decision. Salvation, on the other hand is receiving from God, a gift that only Jesus can give us. Therefore to be saved is to respond to God, not a one-sided decision.

Response. That my entire life would be a response to God. Colossions 1:16 reads "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. " Genesis 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them". 1 John 4:19: "We love because He first loved us". God took the first step and because of that, everything we do should be a response to Him. We love because He first loved us. Everything we do should be praising and glorifying God, after all we were created for Him!

Even when we do things as a response, it is still not all from us. Colossians 1:4-5 "because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints- the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel...". The love and faith we have springs from our hope in heaven. How is that we can hope in heaven? Because of Christ's death on the cross for us (and how can one fail to react to that amazing act!?) and the fact that we know He is in heaven, we will one day meet Him there and that He is our hope - it is for these reasons that we have hope and faith and can offer love and hope. It is not our hope we share, but a hope born in Christ. Again, it's all about God. And how do we share that love, hope and faith? "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength". Only with God.

Blessed are they who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart. Father God, I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. As the Son can do nothing by himself; He can only do what He sees His Father doing, let me only do what I see You do, Father God and only through Your strength within me. Amen.