Call for Prayer - the Journey Ahead

As the departure looms nearer - 4 sleeps - so too do my thoughts and emotions on the upcoming adventure. 

To get you up to date, briefly: on Monday 10th January I leave to ultimately end up on the Logos Hope on about the 8th of Feb. Through a practical ministry of sharing books and literature, building and rebuilding, visiting, loving, caring and receiving we aim to bring knowledge, help and hope to the nations. 

Amongst the many thoughts/emotions/etc going through my head and heart have been excitement about the journey ahead, sadness at leaving friends, relief at leaving home, curiosity as to what lies ahead and joy in serving Christ in this way.

Before I actually get to the ship, there is a bit of a journey to be had:

I leave Australia on Jan 10, stop over in Kuala Lumpur to meet a friend then fly to London.

I will be in London 3 nights from 11-14 Jan before flying to Germany. After a free weekend, the Global Orientation conference will last for 10 days (17-28 Jan). It will include such things as field orientation (learning more indepth details about the field to which you are going), discovery group (team-work, cross-cultural communication, culture shock), missions market (chance to learn about other fields OM works in - interactive with games, competitions, costumes etc), prayer groups, fellowship group (join with others from your country), receiving field meetings (meet with directors and fellow team mates of field you will be joining), home field meetings and 'farewell party' thrown by representatives from OM Australia.

After this, all heading to the Logos Hope fly to Dubai for 10 days of pre-ship training (PST). I have been given a barrage of terms to learn in anticipation of this such as 'port', 'starboard', 'man overboard' etc and we will be doing safety training in relation to living on a ship - ie water training with heavy clothing, CPR, life-boat handling, climbing up and down rope ladders with fire extinguishers etc and learning things more specific to the Hope and the ministry undertaken on/from her. 

I then join the Hope in Dubai on approximately Feb 8th. This, I have a total peace about. The time in between, however, has my stomach in a knot. I don't know why. I know the entire two years will be, amongst many other things, a time of testing, learning and growth but something within me is anticipating the first major challenge/obstacle/stretching during the first 4 weeks. 

I would really appreciate prayer about and during this time. Thanks! :)

A Call to Prayer

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price." (I Cor. 6:19-20)

I found out about a year ago that there is one other small family group within our extended family that have a relationship with Jesus. This had been hidden from me, but when I found out was cause for great excitement. It brought about renewed communication, encouragement for my cousin that she had been praying for me for years and it's also encouraging for me to know there are others and we are praying for the same things!

My cousin's daughter (for privacy's sake, I'll call her Jess here - not her real name), currently 16 years old, has been on fire for God, maintaining a close walk with Him and had the wonderful opportunity to do 2 mission trips to a South American country where their group had a big impact and the chance to pray with the first lady of the country. So many exciting things going on in the life of this beautiful girl and God has been using her mightily already. 

Today I received a call for help for Jess in the following email (printed with permission):

We have found that she is basically addicted to two things…1) online pornography and 2) a relationship with a 24 year old South American man she met two summers ago. This is not your typical teenage crush. This man has actually traveled to the states and tried to meet up with her. Very extreme behavior in our opinion. We have contacted him, his church and the state department and this man still continues to pursue her. He even has a ‘countdown’ on his facebook page of the last time he saw her and the exact number of days until her 18^th birthday. She is obsessed with him. And even though we have blocked her internet at home, and her cell phone of his number, she continues to find ways to sneak communication with him. She goes over friends houses, borrows their phones, etc….

We have done everything in our power and so, honestly, we have given it to the Lord. Jess has no repentance, regret or even admission or confession at this point of any of these issues, even when confronted about them.

So we fast and pray, and wait on the Lord for wisdom. We know this is Satan’s attack on her to try to thwart the awesome impact she is having for God.

It also causes a problem with my family as they know much of the details of this and attribute it to our ‘Christian prison” we have raised her in…. she is rebelling against it in their opinion. While actually she still loves church and the Lord, she has too much pride and fear of condemnation (from man) if people were to find out and she were to confess. We have had many open discussions with her on this and it is up to the Holy Spirit to do the work in her.

So please pray. We pray the Lord will be victorious in her life and He will be glorified through it all.

I have been asked to pray and feel called to do so in my heart as well, continuously and I will be fasting on this issue also. I ask that you remember Jess in your prayers too, please. 

Jess is the fifth case of an under-20 Christian girl (it's not only the males who suffer with this) addicted to online pornography that I have been told about in the last 2 weeks. This highlights to me the strength it has and the destruction that this is wreaking, even throughout the church and in our young people. It has a long-lasting effect even after the addiction itself is broken and as well as putting up walls in a persons walk with God, the results of such an addiction can impact a person for the rest of their lives in the way they view relationships and in their own future relationships. 

As well as praying and fasting specifically for Jess, I will also be praying specific protection over our youth to keep them away from such an evil and for those who are already in its grasp, that they may be freed, find restoration in their relationship with Christ, healing from the impact of pornography and what it does to your mind and freedom from guilt and shame - that they would find at least one person they can be open and honest with, who can pray with and for them in this time. Please join me in this. 

my limitations vs God's power

"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 

-2 Corinthians 3:3-6

I acknowledge that I am yet a babe in my walk with Christ, no matter my yearning for it to be otherwise. The thing is to not let my limitations limit what God can do through me - that will always be the case; to not let ourselves limit God, no matter where we are at. As the above passage says, our competence comes from God so we need to have faith in him. After all, his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

Last night at my churches evening service, a friend had a word for me: each time he prayed for me, Chad felt that I didn't have enough confidence in God; that I realised all too well my limitations and wasn't allowing God to work through me in spite of myself. About 2 minutes later I had the opportunity to pray for Chad - he had a twisted pelvis and when he sat with legs out, his right leg was 1cm shorter than the left leg. After a brief prayer, I watched as Chad's right leg lengthened and evened out to be level with his left leg!! 

I'd heard of this and know of many people whom God has healed and I have no doubt that he does heal today, yet I had never had the privilege of praying and seeing the healing occur before my eyes. Now I have seen it happen, Chad said he could actually feel it happen and after I saw him stand and do various movements which had been previously been causing him pain for a few months. God is good!

It was exciting to note how God let me know there was something that needed to change, then immediately gave me the opportunity to change - simply by saying 'yes' and allowing him to move. I look forward to many similar occurrences!

Thank you Father God, for your healing hand upon Chad and for allowing me to be a tiny part of your plan. Thank you for the lesson learnt - I'm sorry for not having enough faith, but thank you that you love me enough to nudge me in the right direction and give me the chance to grow and see you do amazing things! Lord, I ask that you continue to prompt me, reveal my imperfections that they may be changed, for you to be glorified through my life, in Jesus' name. 

Psalm 119

It is clear that there must be difficulties for us in a revelation such as the Bible. If someone were to hand me a book that was as simple to me as the multiplication table, and say, 'This is the Word of God. In it He has revealed His whole will and wisdom,' I would shake my head and say, 'I cannot believe it; that is too easy to be a perfect revelation of infinite wisdom.' There must be, in any complete revelation of God's mind and will and character and being, things hard for the beginner to understand; and the wisest and best of us are but beginners. 

--R.A. Torrey

I went through psalm 119 today. It truly is the prayer of my heart. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live up to it, but I know I'll spend the rest of my life trying to do so. I do so love that it is perfect for reading aloud and speaking it as a prayer from your own heart.

Lord, I am seeking You with all of my heart. Oh that all my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

I pray that I would always live according to your word, Lord. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I am working on hiding your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O Lord; teach me your decrees. I rejoice in following your statutes. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. Please do not hide your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times. May your statutes always be my delight; they are my counsellors. 

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I have recounted my ways; please answer me and teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. When my soul is weary; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.

Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. How I long for your precepts! Preserve my life in your righteousness.

May your unfailing love come to me, O LOrd, your salvation according to your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in your word. Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws. I will always obey your law, for ever and ever. I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame, for I delight in your commands because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees. 

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. When mocked, I do not turn from your law. I remember your ancient laws, O Lord, and I find comfort in them. Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge. In the night I remember your name, O LOrd, and I will keep your law. This has been and will always be my practice: I obey your precepts.

You are my portion, O Lord; I have promised to obey your words. I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise. I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and do not delay to obey your commands. Though the wicked bind me with ropes, I will not forget your law. I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts. The earth is filled with your love, O Lord; teach me your decrees.

Teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though some have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart, I delight in your law. It will be good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of dollars.

Your hands made me and formed me; gave me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word. I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you will afflict me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight. I will meditate on your precepts in all circumstances. May those who fear you turn to me, those who understand your statutes. May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes fall, looking for your promise; I say, "When will you comfort me?". All your commands are trustworthy.

Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. Your laws endure to this day. for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. I will ponder your statutes. To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless.

Oh, how I love your law! I long to meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. As I meditate on your statutes, you give me insight, as I obey your precepts you bring me understanding. I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word. How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. Accept, O Lord, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me our laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law. Your statues are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees. You reject all who stray from our decrees, for their deceitfulness is in vain. My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.

Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees. I am your servant; give me discernment that I may understand your statutes. 

Your statutes are wonderful; therefore I obey them. The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands. Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name. Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees. Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not always obeyed.

Righteous are you, O Lord, and your laws are right. The statutes you have laid down are righteous; they are fully trustworthy. My zeal wears me out, for my enemies ignore your words. Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them. Your righteousness is everlasting and your law is true. Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight. Your statutes are forever right; give me understanding that I may live.

I call with all my heart; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes. I will rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises. Hear my voice in accordance with your love; preserve my life, O Lord, according to your laws. You are near, O Lord, and all your commands are true. Long ago I learned from your statutes that you established them to last forever.

My heart trembles at your word. I rejoice in your promise like one who finds great spoil. I hate and abhor falsehood but I love your law. Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws. Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. I follow your commands and I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.

May my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for you, O Lord, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands. 

Father God, may every word I have written here, every prayer and plea from my lips be spoken in truth. I love you, Lord and and I delight in your word. As I read and meditate over your words - now and forever - please give me discernment, wisdom and understanding. Please give me the strength and courage to obey all that you teach and all that you would ask of me; that my life may be pleasing in your sight. 

Home... is it time yet?

I know I have no right to ask this, but I've been begging God to take me home - to the city He has prepared (Hebrews 11:14-16). Tonight it hit me really hard and I cried out to God - I'm so desperate for Him in every way. I want more and more of Him in my life - all of Him and none of me, walking with Him always.

The reality of hell is settling in - nothing about a fiery pit with a devil who has a tail and a pitchfork; but the fact that hell will be so because of eternal separation from God. Throughout the Bible and psalms in particular, it speaks of God and who He is. He is our shepherd. He is our provider, our healer, he shelters us, protects us, guides us, comforts us, loves us amongst many others. To be separated from that - what does it leave? Nothing. Colossians 1:16 says that we were made BY God, FOR God so how can one think they can live a life apart from Him? And an eternity without Him... too awful to consider.

But as far as wanting to meet Him in that place now, that's what my heart cries out for. To be united with God. But He's saying it's not time yet.

He has many more things to do through me. The question is what are those things and how and when to go about them? What am I to do? I can only know this from seeking after God's will, drawing close to Him and letting Him guide my path.

I seek after You with all my heart, Lord God, do not let me stray from your commands. That I would have ears to hear and eyes to see what You hear and see, that You would open the eyes of my heart to You, Father God and to Your people that while I wait that Your kingdom would come - on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth as it is in heaven... now that's another matter. Is it literal - trying to recreate heaven on earth, is it a state of mind, or is it striving towards having the unity with God that will happen in heaven also as He is with us here on earth...

All of You, none of me

So... I went down to Melbourne for pre-field training last week. Perhaps the best and the most challenging week of my life. They taught us much on purpose, however what I came away with was so much greater than that - the experience was the sum of it's parts, really. The parts consisted of 11 people whom God had called to mission and the OM families who taught, supported and befriended us. Alongside those people, we spent a week in God's presence.

We came together, united by the same God, worshipping Him, learning from and sharing about His word, discussing His works in our lives and those around us, all there for the same purpose with the same heart. Everything during that week was offered up to God; our lives, hearts, bodies, thanks, praises, worship, time. It was a discipline, yet I know that for me personally, there was nothing else I'd rather do - now and forever; and I'm pretty sure it was the same for all of us there.

In Luke 9:28-36 Peter, John and James went up the mountain to pray with Jesus. The transfiguration of Jesus must have been a huge spiritual experience and in fact they wanted it to last longer - Peter suggested setting up tents and "camping out" for while. This period of time in Melbourne was a mountain-top experience and I did not want to leave that mountain-top and have had struggles while coming down. What God has constantly been reminding me of is that it's not about me, it's about God. Just like a cloud overshadowed the disciples, our personal feelings need to be overshadowed by our true worship (24/7) of God. And just as God said, "This is my Son, my Chosen, listen to him," we need to also give our ears and hearts to what God is saying. Spiritual highs are all about praising God, not about us. But I'd like the closeness to God that happened during that week to stay always.

I totally understand that, as the essence of what I learnt this week was that it's all about God. But how to come down off that mountain-top and put that to work in our earthly lives. The experience was so amazing and God's revelations have been awesome (as I pray they will continue to be) but how to share that with others? No-one else can truly understand if they weren't on that same mountain top with you and sharing your walk as they had their own.
How does one go about sharing an experience like that with others who weren't there? To maintain a renewed mind in Christ while walking on the earth here and now? There are the mundane things that happen in life; bills need to be paid, shopping happens and a myriad of other such things. They don't seem very spiritual, but I'm learning that it's your attitude and having Christ in your thoughts as it happens.

He lived on earth in human form - he knows what it's like and did it all while maintaining that constant connection to the Father. Jesus lived in constant availability to God and so should we. We need to learn a way of being that is contextualized in a larger frame than the current situation, seeing a picture that's bigger than what meets the eye. By always being a little outside our situation, we are actually made more available to be present to the situation; this is an aspect of the freedom we gain by dying to self and becoming alive to God.

More of You, less of me - all of You, none of me, Lord God.

How does one do that? Pray constantly, immerse myself in His Word (Psalm 119) and constantly be asking questions of God. Lord that I would have the eyes to see and the ears to hear, not only what is actually said and shown, but the true picture of what You know is going on. I pray for an overflowing of Your Holy Spirit in my life, that I would be a bucket to be moved and the overflow would wash onto anyone with whom I come into contact - that You in me would rub off onto others. Lord I pray that as I am with others, that they would not be seeing and talking with me, but with You. "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5