Time To Say Goodbye

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.  

~Richard Bach

Goodbye has never been a favoured word in my vocabulary. I don't particularly understand why they are termed 'good' byes - byes are bad! However 'badbye' doesn't quite have the same ring to it. It is said that the term came about as a shortened version of the 'God be with you' parting phrase used until approximately the 16th century. Now this is one I can much better appreciate!

This particular parting is bittersweet. It is sad to be parted from current dear friends who have become as family, as well as my actual family. Having encountered such partings for significant time periods a few times previously, I am aware that no matter the good intentions, communication will often lessen severely and although people will be happy to hear from me, little or no effort may be made on their part and though my intentions be good, it will require much more of an effort from me also, being limited in form. I must say that since coming to Christ, I have found farewells slightly easier, knowing that despite the distance that there is always prayer, connecting us in heart, mind and spirit via the Father.

The sweetness lies in that I am obeying and leaving to go where my Lord has called me. The joy in obedience is incredibly sweet; knowing that my actions are pleasing God, that they have order and purpose as I step out in serving Him, worshipping Him and proclaiming and glorifying His name in this new way. It is this I must cling to, and also remember that with some partings there will be new meetings - an adventure lies ahead...

God be with you till we meet again;

By His counsels guide, uphold you,

With His sheep securely fold you;

God be with you till we meet again.

Till we meet, till we meet,

Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;

Till we meet, till we meet,

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Neath His wings protecting hide you;

Daily manna still provide you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

With the oil of joy anoint you;

Sacred ministries appoint you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

When life’s perils thick confound you;

Put His arms unfailing round you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Of His promises remind you;

For life’s upper garner bind you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Sicknesses and sorrows taking,

Never leaving or forsaking;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Keep love’s banner floating o’er you,

Strike death’s threatening wave before you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Ended when for you earth’s story,

Israel’s chariot sweep to glory;

God be with you till we meet again.

(Words by Jeremiah Rankin)

A Call to Prayer

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price." (I Cor. 6:19-20)

I found out about a year ago that there is one other small family group within our extended family that have a relationship with Jesus. This had been hidden from me, but when I found out was cause for great excitement. It brought about renewed communication, encouragement for my cousin that she had been praying for me for years and it's also encouraging for me to know there are others and we are praying for the same things!

My cousin's daughter (for privacy's sake, I'll call her Jess here - not her real name), currently 16 years old, has been on fire for God, maintaining a close walk with Him and had the wonderful opportunity to do 2 mission trips to a South American country where their group had a big impact and the chance to pray with the first lady of the country. So many exciting things going on in the life of this beautiful girl and God has been using her mightily already. 

Today I received a call for help for Jess in the following email (printed with permission):

We have found that she is basically addicted to two things…1) online pornography and 2) a relationship with a 24 year old South American man she met two summers ago. This is not your typical teenage crush. This man has actually traveled to the states and tried to meet up with her. Very extreme behavior in our opinion. We have contacted him, his church and the state department and this man still continues to pursue her. He even has a ‘countdown’ on his facebook page of the last time he saw her and the exact number of days until her 18^th birthday. She is obsessed with him. And even though we have blocked her internet at home, and her cell phone of his number, she continues to find ways to sneak communication with him. She goes over friends houses, borrows their phones, etc….

We have done everything in our power and so, honestly, we have given it to the Lord. Jess has no repentance, regret or even admission or confession at this point of any of these issues, even when confronted about them.

So we fast and pray, and wait on the Lord for wisdom. We know this is Satan’s attack on her to try to thwart the awesome impact she is having for God.

It also causes a problem with my family as they know much of the details of this and attribute it to our ‘Christian prison” we have raised her in…. she is rebelling against it in their opinion. While actually she still loves church and the Lord, she has too much pride and fear of condemnation (from man) if people were to find out and she were to confess. We have had many open discussions with her on this and it is up to the Holy Spirit to do the work in her.

So please pray. We pray the Lord will be victorious in her life and He will be glorified through it all.

I have been asked to pray and feel called to do so in my heart as well, continuously and I will be fasting on this issue also. I ask that you remember Jess in your prayers too, please. 

Jess is the fifth case of an under-20 Christian girl (it's not only the males who suffer with this) addicted to online pornography that I have been told about in the last 2 weeks. This highlights to me the strength it has and the destruction that this is wreaking, even throughout the church and in our young people. It has a long-lasting effect even after the addiction itself is broken and as well as putting up walls in a persons walk with God, the results of such an addiction can impact a person for the rest of their lives in the way they view relationships and in their own future relationships. 

As well as praying and fasting specifically for Jess, I will also be praying specific protection over our youth to keep them away from such an evil and for those who are already in its grasp, that they may be freed, find restoration in their relationship with Christ, healing from the impact of pornography and what it does to your mind and freedom from guilt and shame - that they would find at least one person they can be open and honest with, who can pray with and for them in this time. Please join me in this. 

Create in me a clean heart O God...

Father God, HELP! Can you please get me out of here???

I know that this is supposed to be shaping me and molding me and strengthening me and whatever else you have for me to learn, and that hopefully it's doing something in the lives of my parents but I'm not sure it's worth it.

All I'm doing is failing and being hurt, again and again and it HURTS, God, it's really not fun. But you know this already yet you keep me here. It's only 3 months to go, yet I sometimes wonder if I can make it that long.

Everything I say comes out wrong. My every weakness and mistake is exposed, before eyes that don't know you - I'm not a good witness, I fall down at every single hurdle. Then when I think I'm doing right, parts of what I say are ignored, words are twisted and before you know it, apparently I've said and done something very different than what is fact.

I can't see one single positive thing in this situation, and I know you don't need me to help you Father, but wouldn't it be nice if I wasn't a hindrance every step of the way??? I'm not blameless in all of these situations, I know that and I admit it; but other than simply not saying a single word or not being at home, I don't see how that can be fixed. And when I'm not home then that is complained about, that I don't spend enough time with my family, but every moment that is spent here is so incredibly painful, for me and for them too, I'm sure.

God, I just long for them to know you, the love that you have for them, the grace and mercy you extend to them. Please open their eyes to who you are, Father God. Every day I learn more about who you are and understand more and see what their lives could be with you in it; and they are great people and have so much to offer, to be a part of the body of Christ, to understand where they fit in, to have a future and a hope, to know the joy that comes of being in a relationship with the creator of the universe, our Heavenly Father... I long for that day, for them, for You, for me - nobody wants to know their parents might miss out on heaven.

Father, help me to see my parents through your eyes, to love them as you love them. Please give me the words to speak into each situation, that they may see you in spite of me. Continue to smooth my rough edges, give me patience, wisdom, gentleness, kindness, self-control and above all a soft heart to what you have to say to me and a willingness to change, to learn, to grow and to love.

Obedience to God

"The golden rule for understanding in spiritual matters is not intellect, but obedience."

-Oswald Chambers

"Our love is a response to God's love. Likewise our obedience flows from our gratitude of what He has done for us".

Jack Kuhatschek

How much does my obeying or disobeying God affect things? There are the big things and the little things. The big things such as listening to the direction He has for your life or if He shouts "NO!" but you decide to go your own way... If I had been disobedient to God in the big things, I wouldn't be qualified as a school teacher or heading out to the mission field next year. But what about the little things? (I know one could argue that the little things can have a huge impact also, but please just go with me on this one for the moment!) If He gives me a word to share in church and I don't step up and do it, then He will often give it to somebody else to say and it will get said either way, so the church doesn't miss out however YOU then miss out on the blessing of having stepped out and been obedient, of knowing that really was God speaking to you and of being a blessing to somebody else.

However in other situations - such as in the supermarket and God gives you a word for a random person. Fear may hold you back - fear of rejection and ridicule, what the other person may think. However if you hold back in such a situation, is somebody else then going to step into the aisle and say, "well I have a word for you" in your place? Not usually. So then it affects the other person - if God truly has His hand on their life and you were supposed to be a step towards bringing them into relationship with Him, He will use other stepping stones, however how does that impact things? Our God is a big God and He can do things without us yet usually chooses to include us and offer us the opportunity to be a part of His plan.

And what about in my own home? God has made it clear to me that I am to speak with my father about his beliefs and to go back to the healing that occurred in his life a few years ago from cancer. Back then I didn't use it as a step towards spiritual healing (yes he was physically healed, but I believe it's better to be a sick person going to heaven than a healthy one going to hell...) however God has brought it up to me in recent times saying it's not too late. In fact, if I had brought it up with dad back then it may not have done much except perhaps tear us apart. Now, it may do the same thing, however my parents already think so lowly of my beliefs and the fact that I choose to cling to them and live my life accordingly that it can't get any worse and the only thing at stake here is my parents salvation - something worth making myself look foolish for.

I believe it's also a test of my obedience; when that moment comes, when God nudges me and says "now is the time, speak up", will I be obedient or will I chicken out? That's also when the matter comes up: is it being courageous and brave, or merely trusting and having faith? Being obedient to God shouldn't be about us, about me, but simply stepping out in faith, albeit a bigger step than usual! I sincerely hope I will be obedient and act upon the measure of faith given to me, however it's a real possibility that I may chicken out. I have no real idea what to say to dad beyond the initial question. I guess it's just a case of trusting that if God tells me to say something that He will then give me the words...

John 15:9-10 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love."

This is where the question of obedience stops being a question, in my eyes. It's a command - "remain in my love". How do we do that? "Obey my commands". It's as simple as that really. In theory, anyway...

Please pray that this will be the case, that I won't chicken out when God says it's time, that I'll be sensitive to His guiding particularly as this conversation takes place and continual prayer for both my parents would be appreciated if you have a moment.

In God's Hands

Hmm... realised that as part of the purpose of starting this blog was to keep people updated on what was happening with my journey on the ship, that I should probably updated as I have now been officially accepted by both OM Australia and the team on the Logos Hope itself! Yay.

And so continues the next part of the journey. OMA sent a book out called 'Friend Raising' by Betty Barnett. I haven't yet completed it, but it's a very interesting read so far, talking on the concept of building/maintaining relationships and that any financial support that comes from that is simply a blessing, putting money into its correct place - far, far, down the ladder of importance (another blog to come on this topic, I think).

As one of my concerns had previously been maintaining relationships with those back home during my absence, this book is a great help. Building and maintaining relationships is something God first began to really push to me when in Melbourne during the original pre-field training for OM. A large part of the book actually deals with communication and maintaining relationships - something of more concern and importance to me than the finance, as I'm sure that if this mission is truly God's will then He will provide therefore the finances are not resting heavily with me, rather a chance to see God work and His glory to prevail!

So far, I think the biggest thing God is using the mission for - even if I never actually go - is my parents. Not yet believers, they are very much struggling at the moment. Only just accepting that "maybe this God-thing isn't a phase anymore" (after four years - what a very long phase!), to then hear about the plans for the ship and all that entails... Firstly, that their only daughter will be going away from them for 2 years - this, they would have gotten over eventually; it's not like I haven't lived out from under their roof for two years already. Secondly, however, that I want to go with a Christian organisation to spread the word about something they aren't sure actually exists! And thirdly - and perhaps this concerns them the most, I need to pay to do this trip. $1500/month over at least 2 years is quite a large sum and without having faith in an awesome God to provide (He's proven His faithfulness in all things including finance to me many times already), this greatly worries them.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Aside from all their concerns however, the opportunities to discuss the mission trip, what it entails, why I'm doing it, who God is, what He's done in my life and more about Him - these are all subjects now discussed quite often at the dinner table, for the first time ever. Praise God. They are never easy discussions - I don't like my parents looking at me as if they are contemplating whether a mental institution might be a good idea and mum has openly said she thinks I'm partially brain-washed - however God is being discussed in this house!!! I gave them a copy of Lee Strobel's 'A Case for the Resurrection' this Easter with the hope that at least one of them will actually read it.

God has had His hand on this family for awhile now - how else does a young child of non-believers get sent to Christian summer camp for 5 years running!? How does a man have intensive surgery near his brain with only 20% chance of success and come through completely unscarred? How does a man get healed from cancer - if not for God? God's been prompting me in this area for awhile now and whenever I've gone to make a move, something massive happens that causes me to withdraw. This situation has made me increasingly aware of the battlefield and the spiritual warfare that we are in whenever we move to further God's kingdom.

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

-2 Cor. 10:3-5.

God is moving in my household. It may take time - maybe years, however I have every faith in Him who sees all, knows all, loves all. Right now, He is calling me to step up in this fight and if you have a moment, I'd love for you to pray for my parents and feel free to keep me accountable on the steps I'm taking with them as God leads.

All about God

A whirlpool. An accurate way to describe my mind right now. There are so many different thoughts swirling around up there in different shapes, sizes, colours but they're slowly melding and being pulled towards the centre to one main theme: God.
IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD.

Consider the controversial topic of conversion. Discussing 'Pascal's gambit', someone suggested it would be ideal to mention this to my non-Christian parents. However that's purely logic and conversion is a decision. Salvation, on the other hand is receiving from God, a gift that only Jesus can give us. Therefore to be saved is to respond to God, not a one-sided decision.

Response. That my entire life would be a response to God. Colossions 1:16 reads "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. " Genesis 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them". 1 John 4:19: "We love because He first loved us". God took the first step and because of that, everything we do should be a response to Him. We love because He first loved us. Everything we do should be praising and glorifying God, after all we were created for Him!

Even when we do things as a response, it is still not all from us. Colossians 1:4-5 "because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints- the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel...". The love and faith we have springs from our hope in heaven. How is that we can hope in heaven? Because of Christ's death on the cross for us (and how can one fail to react to that amazing act!?) and the fact that we know He is in heaven, we will one day meet Him there and that He is our hope - it is for these reasons that we have hope and faith and can offer love and hope. It is not our hope we share, but a hope born in Christ. Again, it's all about God. And how do we share that love, hope and faith? "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength". Only with God.

Blessed are they who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart. Father God, I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. As the Son can do nothing by himself; He can only do what He sees His Father doing, let me only do what I see You do, Father God and only through Your strength within me. Amen.