Time To Say Goodbye

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.  

~Richard Bach

Goodbye has never been a favoured word in my vocabulary. I don't particularly understand why they are termed 'good' byes - byes are bad! However 'badbye' doesn't quite have the same ring to it. It is said that the term came about as a shortened version of the 'God be with you' parting phrase used until approximately the 16th century. Now this is one I can much better appreciate!

This particular parting is bittersweet. It is sad to be parted from current dear friends who have become as family, as well as my actual family. Having encountered such partings for significant time periods a few times previously, I am aware that no matter the good intentions, communication will often lessen severely and although people will be happy to hear from me, little or no effort may be made on their part and though my intentions be good, it will require much more of an effort from me also, being limited in form. I must say that since coming to Christ, I have found farewells slightly easier, knowing that despite the distance that there is always prayer, connecting us in heart, mind and spirit via the Father.

The sweetness lies in that I am obeying and leaving to go where my Lord has called me. The joy in obedience is incredibly sweet; knowing that my actions are pleasing God, that they have order and purpose as I step out in serving Him, worshipping Him and proclaiming and glorifying His name in this new way. It is this I must cling to, and also remember that with some partings there will be new meetings - an adventure lies ahead...

God be with you till we meet again;

By His counsels guide, uphold you,

With His sheep securely fold you;

God be with you till we meet again.

Till we meet, till we meet,

Till we meet at Jesus’ feet;

Till we meet, till we meet,

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Neath His wings protecting hide you;

Daily manna still provide you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

With the oil of joy anoint you;

Sacred ministries appoint you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

When life’s perils thick confound you;

Put His arms unfailing round you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Of His promises remind you;

For life’s upper garner bind you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Sicknesses and sorrows taking,

Never leaving or forsaking;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Keep love’s banner floating o’er you,

Strike death’s threatening wave before you;

God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;

Ended when for you earth’s story,

Israel’s chariot sweep to glory;

God be with you till we meet again.

(Words by Jeremiah Rankin)

Is It For the Lord?

Acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. -1 Chronicles 28:9

From the earlier post of not wanting to come down from the mountain-top, God showed me the importance of taking the connection with him and the lessons learnt into everyday life to be able to impact others for Christ and fight the battles in the trenches. I had been concerned about losing that connection with God - how silly and insignificant do those worries seem. Looking back I can see God's hand on my life in the 17 years before I truly acknowledged Jesus as my Saviour, why would that change now that I'm in relationship with Him??

One of the next thoughts then was how do I use it to impact others and help others grow and see Jesus. And yes, this is a valid thought however God has made it clear that that is not to be my focus. Though yet all we do is seen, analysed and judged by others and that we can only hope to positively influence them for Christ, it IS NOT FOR THE WORLD or even the people who may gain salvation that we do what we do, but for Christ Himself; for His pleasure and glory.

He is to be our continual focus and the centre of my life. Only then is He able to use me for His purposes, but the key there is that it is God using me, not me doing things for Him in my own strength. So - why do we what we do; is it for people or is it for the Lord?

To be brutally honest, it doesn't really matter what place we find ourselves in right now. The point of our life is to point to God. Whatever we are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His.

"God is far more concerned about your finding your place in Christ Himself than your place in His service. The essential thing in Christian living is not where you are going or what you are doing but in whose strength you are living" - George Verwer.

God Cares About People

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4: 16-19



People. Apparently God's best creation. Also His most frustrating one! God cares about people. He cares about them when we can't. Sometimes that is the only reason we can care about people is because He does. The caring doesn't make it easy to get close, to push past barriers, to open ourselves up; that is our own choice, but God does the caring.

About a month ago now, God did something that was new to me. He often brings new people into my life, but never before has He told me to hold onto someone, not to let go, that He had brought them into my life and me into their life for a reason, to care for them NO MATTER WHAT. I knew straight away that it wasn't going to be easy. I love this person wholeheartedly, but already in this short period there have been some ups and downs, a real rollercoaster and that's not going to stop. However some of the lessons I have learnt through their life and in walking life with them - a tenacity for God, what it is to hunger for Him, what real joy is and how it can only come from God. That He is our only hope and strength, to really think for myself, to consider others more, to consider other viewpoints, to truly understand the need for God in each of our lives in a way more real than ever before, and that's only part of it.

People have their limits. I'd never come across someone's before. I hadn't before felt the need to try to understand someone at that level. Another new experience. It was harder than I expected. Confusion in not understanding, a struggle with wanting to understand, respecting boundaries, hope that ground can be recovered - that I've not gone too far, regret for pain caused, asking for forgiveness.

It also brought up the question about what my limits are and where they are to be found. In this last month they have been pushed as much as they have up to this point and when approached in a caring matter by someone whom I trust, it appears those gates are flimsy indeed. I am yet to discover whether that is bad or good. It is slightly daunting to have seen another's barriers and to realise what has caused them to be so. Dare I wonder what God has in store for me in the future? James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Does the lack of real trials in my life mean I am immature and incomplete, and/or is it an indicator that those trials are yet to come?

It is a joy, a struggle, a privilege and a journey, a journey that God has made clear is not to end. God doesn't give up on people, therefore I won't give up on you either, as long as He gives me the strength and love to continue.

Psalm 139

¹ O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Home... is it time yet?

I know I have no right to ask this, but I've been begging God to take me home - to the city He has prepared (Hebrews 11:14-16). Tonight it hit me really hard and I cried out to God - I'm so desperate for Him in every way. I want more and more of Him in my life - all of Him and none of me, walking with Him always.

The reality of hell is settling in - nothing about a fiery pit with a devil who has a tail and a pitchfork; but the fact that hell will be so because of eternal separation from God. Throughout the Bible and psalms in particular, it speaks of God and who He is. He is our shepherd. He is our provider, our healer, he shelters us, protects us, guides us, comforts us, loves us amongst many others. To be separated from that - what does it leave? Nothing. Colossians 1:16 says that we were made BY God, FOR God so how can one think they can live a life apart from Him? And an eternity without Him... too awful to consider.

But as far as wanting to meet Him in that place now, that's what my heart cries out for. To be united with God. But He's saying it's not time yet.

He has many more things to do through me. The question is what are those things and how and when to go about them? What am I to do? I can only know this from seeking after God's will, drawing close to Him and letting Him guide my path.

I seek after You with all my heart, Lord God, do not let me stray from your commands. That I would have ears to hear and eyes to see what You hear and see, that You would open the eyes of my heart to You, Father God and to Your people that while I wait that Your kingdom would come - on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth as it is in heaven... now that's another matter. Is it literal - trying to recreate heaven on earth, is it a state of mind, or is it striving towards having the unity with God that will happen in heaven also as He is with us here on earth...

All of You, none of me

So... I went down to Melbourne for pre-field training last week. Perhaps the best and the most challenging week of my life. They taught us much on purpose, however what I came away with was so much greater than that - the experience was the sum of it's parts, really. The parts consisted of 11 people whom God had called to mission and the OM families who taught, supported and befriended us. Alongside those people, we spent a week in God's presence.

We came together, united by the same God, worshipping Him, learning from and sharing about His word, discussing His works in our lives and those around us, all there for the same purpose with the same heart. Everything during that week was offered up to God; our lives, hearts, bodies, thanks, praises, worship, time. It was a discipline, yet I know that for me personally, there was nothing else I'd rather do - now and forever; and I'm pretty sure it was the same for all of us there.

In Luke 9:28-36 Peter, John and James went up the mountain to pray with Jesus. The transfiguration of Jesus must have been a huge spiritual experience and in fact they wanted it to last longer - Peter suggested setting up tents and "camping out" for while. This period of time in Melbourne was a mountain-top experience and I did not want to leave that mountain-top and have had struggles while coming down. What God has constantly been reminding me of is that it's not about me, it's about God. Just like a cloud overshadowed the disciples, our personal feelings need to be overshadowed by our true worship (24/7) of God. And just as God said, "This is my Son, my Chosen, listen to him," we need to also give our ears and hearts to what God is saying. Spiritual highs are all about praising God, not about us. But I'd like the closeness to God that happened during that week to stay always.

I totally understand that, as the essence of what I learnt this week was that it's all about God. But how to come down off that mountain-top and put that to work in our earthly lives. The experience was so amazing and God's revelations have been awesome (as I pray they will continue to be) but how to share that with others? No-one else can truly understand if they weren't on that same mountain top with you and sharing your walk as they had their own.
How does one go about sharing an experience like that with others who weren't there? To maintain a renewed mind in Christ while walking on the earth here and now? There are the mundane things that happen in life; bills need to be paid, shopping happens and a myriad of other such things. They don't seem very spiritual, but I'm learning that it's your attitude and having Christ in your thoughts as it happens.

He lived on earth in human form - he knows what it's like and did it all while maintaining that constant connection to the Father. Jesus lived in constant availability to God and so should we. We need to learn a way of being that is contextualized in a larger frame than the current situation, seeing a picture that's bigger than what meets the eye. By always being a little outside our situation, we are actually made more available to be present to the situation; this is an aspect of the freedom we gain by dying to self and becoming alive to God.

More of You, less of me - all of You, none of me, Lord God.

How does one do that? Pray constantly, immerse myself in His Word (Psalm 119) and constantly be asking questions of God. Lord that I would have the eyes to see and the ears to hear, not only what is actually said and shown, but the true picture of what You know is going on. I pray for an overflowing of Your Holy Spirit in my life, that I would be a bucket to be moved and the overflow would wash onto anyone with whom I come into contact - that You in me would rub off onto others. Lord I pray that as I am with others, that they would not be seeing and talking with me, but with You. "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5

Beginnings

God has given me a burden for those who can't defend and look after themselves - particularly children, sharing His love for them through me. Since I came to know God a short four years ago, day by day I learn more, understand more and that brings even more questions but with it joy and excitement, faith, hope and also a responsibility. A responsibility to share God with the world. Knowing what a joy and privilege it is for me, how could I deprive others of that? So for the first step of this journey in sharing Jesus with the nations, I'll be stepping out onto a ship that travels through many different countries with the goal of bringing knowledge, help and hope to all who cross our path.

I've been struggling for awhile now with getting deeper - into God's presence and Word and my understanding of that, and deeper into relationships with others. While at pre-field training for the ship, God gave me many small keys into unlocking that area. He's shown me in just a few short days how life-changing it can be, not only for myself but hopefully for others as they see Christ in me. It's only the beginning of a long but very exciting yet challenging journey that is never to end! Part of growing in that, through a friend God showed me a blog can be a way of keeping accountable in my growth with Him, while also presenting yet another opportunity to share more about Him - that hopefully any readers will learn with me as God teaches me many lessons and also for those who want to follow my time on the ship, to pray for God's ministry and the part that I play within that.

So concludes my first posting. Many more to come as God keeps revealing more about Himself and His will - what an exciting time to come!