His ways are higher

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways 

and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

-Isaiah 55:9

Reading a friend's post today, it made me think over whether I hold things loosely and allow God to do with them what He will, or whether there are some things that I consider mine, that I don't want to let go of. While friendships are something I have always struggled to hold loosely, I can see that is definitely something God is teaching me at the moment.

Thankfully, He has given me a success story that I can look back on and remind myself of God's faithfulness and how His ways are higher...

Since I was 7 years old, I have had the dream of becoming a professional orchestral musician playing the viola in orchestras in Australia and around the world. Everything was on track - I had always been the most advanced and accomplished musician in each school I attended, I was in the city, the state and the country's best orchestras much earlier than most and was always at the top of each. I was easily accepted to do a bachelor of music at university and offered scholarships to competing universities interstate to study music performance. I was already being privately tutored and doing workshops with some of the world's best musicians and playing professionally at 15 years old. 

Music was something I absolutely loved - I could get lost in it, playing multiple instruments. Playing an incredible masterpiece of music, composed centuries ago, playing with a group of like-minded people, in complete harmony with each other, the orchestra as a living, breathing organism with everyone playing individually yet completely aware of everyone around them and how it all fits together. Perfecting this in a single performance, sweeping thousands of audience members into a new world with you - it's a high that's incredibly hard to beat. (Since then, I have learnt that corporate worship is something equally amazing in the natural; only made better by the fact that it is God whom we are singing to and making music for and that it is more - worship is an exchange of hearts; something an orchestra cannot achieve). 

This is where my life was heading, until God stepped in. There was nothing wrong with that dream, but it was one which I was holding very tightly and would not release and God had other plans. Slowly He kept tapping on my shoulder and showing me a different path, asking me to hand over this dream to Him. After much resistance on my part, I stepped away from this dream and went where God was leading me - into school-teaching, then into missions on a ship and from there... where He leads.

Since this has happened, so much has changed in my life. I am headed in a completely different direction, but one I would not change for all the world. It is bringing me more challenges, more joy, more fulfilment and a closer walk with God than ever before. And since handing over that dream to God, He has since reshaped it, tweaked it a bit, and now handed it back to me. It looks very different, but still involves a life full of music - but now, He has given me the opportunity to learn new instruments I wouldn't otherwise have come to know, it is used to worship Him, helping others to worship Him, to teach others and build connections, to share and above all FOR HIS GLORY. What more could I ask?

Letting go was incredibly challenging, but infinitely rewarding. Once your life and all that is within it is touched by the fingerprints of our Creator, it will never ever be the same, but something more beautiful that can achieve more than you ever thought possible, because He works together all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). 

Father God, thank you that you love me and desire to give me the best; and the best is what comes from you. Thank you for shaping my life into what you want it to be. I pray that you would help me to continually hand all things over to you, knowing that some things may not return to me, but what does will then be infinitely better and more than I can ever imagine. Please continue to shape me also, into the woman of God you have made me to be - in your hands all things are possible. When that process is not pleasant, help me to understand that it is you working, that I may accept it and come to embrace those times as you smooth the rough edges into what you need me to become. That I may always desire your best, that you would be able to use me and that in spite of me, your name would be glorified. 

Creation Spills Forth His Glory

"The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world." -Psalm 19:1-4.

"Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens". -Psalm 119:89.

It's wonderful how God can use anything to speak to us, if we’re only willing to listen. Watching the movie ‘Calendar Girls’ tonight, a speech was given on sunflowers as follows:

“I don’t think there’s anything on this planet that trumpets life more than the sunflower. For me, that’s because of the reason behind its name. Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. During the course of the day, the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky; a satellite dish for sunshine. Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it.”
Isn’t that an apt description of Jesus’ disciples? We should follow the Son, tracking His journey and following in His ways. Wherever Jesus is in a situation, how He chooses to say or teach something, we should be on the lookout for Him and listening for his voice. So rather than sunflowers, we are Son-followers – also known as Christians.

Each and every time I go out at night in particular, I am reminded of how big our God is, that all the stars in the sky, everything under and above them was created by Him... I find it impossible to not worship a God who is capable of such beauty and wonder.

"Praise the LORD from the earth,

you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,

lightning and hail, snow and clouds,

stormy winds that do His bidding

you mountains and all hills,

fruit trees and all cedars,

wild animals and all catle,

small creatures and flying birds,

kings of the earth and all nations,

you princes and rulers on earth,

young men and maidens,

old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the LORD,

for His name alone is exalted;

His splendour is above the earth and the heavens.

-Psalm 148:7-13

His Power is Made Perfect in Weakness

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" - Phil. 4:4.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor. 12:9-10.

So once we assess our motives in what we do, the other side of things is that when stuff happens, how do we react?

EVERYTHING SHOULD LEAD US TO WORSHIP. Definitely the good things that happen, but even in the negative - that is when it's hardest yet most important. Of course it is easy to worship when all is well, but the thing is to let the negative situations push us into the comfort of God's arms, to acknowledge our lack of control and reach out for God's help as Jesus did.

He is our ultimate example. Recently, God gave an amazing insight to a friend of mine and it is now slowly sinking itself into my mind: What was Jesus' hardest moment? The cross. Imagine what He must have been going through and thinking in those last moments when He called out, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matt. 27:46). A time of ultimate pain and separation from the Father. Yet the last words out of His mouth were "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit" (Luke 23:46). In Jesus' darkest and hardest moment, He chose to commit Himself to the Lord.

Let us be led, guided and prompted by Jesus' example.

Home... is it time yet?

I know I have no right to ask this, but I've been begging God to take me home - to the city He has prepared (Hebrews 11:14-16). Tonight it hit me really hard and I cried out to God - I'm so desperate for Him in every way. I want more and more of Him in my life - all of Him and none of me, walking with Him always.

The reality of hell is settling in - nothing about a fiery pit with a devil who has a tail and a pitchfork; but the fact that hell will be so because of eternal separation from God. Throughout the Bible and psalms in particular, it speaks of God and who He is. He is our shepherd. He is our provider, our healer, he shelters us, protects us, guides us, comforts us, loves us amongst many others. To be separated from that - what does it leave? Nothing. Colossians 1:16 says that we were made BY God, FOR God so how can one think they can live a life apart from Him? And an eternity without Him... too awful to consider.

But as far as wanting to meet Him in that place now, that's what my heart cries out for. To be united with God. But He's saying it's not time yet.

He has many more things to do through me. The question is what are those things and how and when to go about them? What am I to do? I can only know this from seeking after God's will, drawing close to Him and letting Him guide my path.

I seek after You with all my heart, Lord God, do not let me stray from your commands. That I would have ears to hear and eyes to see what You hear and see, that You would open the eyes of my heart to You, Father God and to Your people that while I wait that Your kingdom would come - on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth as it is in heaven... now that's another matter. Is it literal - trying to recreate heaven on earth, is it a state of mind, or is it striving towards having the unity with God that will happen in heaven also as He is with us here on earth...

Heart of Worship

Worship. Another controversial subject. It is often thought of as the music portion of a church service where we sing to God. Some may mumble quietly, not wanting to be heard; others may sing at the top of their lungs wanting everyone to hear how much they love God. Some raise their hands, some stand still while others dance around the room with or without banners and ribbons.

Music affects our emotions and the lyrics can swell our hearts, causing us to become lost in the experience. That's right - the experience. And so many times I hear, "I got so much out of that worship time" or thanking the worship leader for the amazing atmosphere created. And yes, that used to be me. I won't deny that I can still get a buzz out of worshipping with a huge number of believers and really enjoy myself however my focus has shifted. It's not an experience, it's not something designed to make us feel good. Worship is thanking God, being grateful for what He's done, praising Him, giving Him honour, marvelling at His greatness and His creation and glorifying our Lord Jesus Christ.

But doesn't that sound like something you want to do 24/7, not just for 30mins on Sunday? I know I do. Our thoughts, words and actions point to whom or what we worship. All of us worship something, whether intentionally or otherwise. Worship is an attitude of the heart. Worship is clearly of interest to God. He knows we have an inner need to worship, so He asks us to worship Him. He, being God, can handle the weight of being worshipped; humans cannot. People who are worshipped by others can often be influenced to think more highly of themselves than they ought. The Bible makes it plain that there is only one God worthy of our worship:

"Fear the Lord your God, serve Him only and take your oaths in His name. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the people around you for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and His anger will burn against you, and He will destroy you from the face of the land." Deuteronomy 6:13-14.

Do I love God? Yes. Am I thankful for what He has done for me through His Son Jesus Christ? Yes. "Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; worship the Lord in the splendour of His holiness." Psalm 29:2. May the life I live be an act of worship to Him; every thought, word and action

Michael W. Smith's song perfectly encapsulates the essence of what's in my heart regarding worship:

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Like pretty much everything else in the world, we have made worship about us. Even though we claim to be worshipping God, it's still something we've made it into. Why don't we let God shape the worship He wants by letting Him shape our lives? Giving Him full reign of my life, every thought, action, word and decision is His - what an amazing song He can make with that!

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. It's all about You. Amen.