Back on Track

Christopher Robin: "There now. Did I get your tail back on properly, Eeyore?"
Eeyore: "No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway."



It's so good to be talking properly with God again. Though really, I was still hearing from Him, reading His Word, thinking and talking about Him, reading Christian autobiographies etc. Funny how all that can be happening yet I know I'm not precisely where He wants me. I suppose, looking back, that if this is me feeling far from Him then it's a huge improvement on what was. But there's always room for more improvement!

Thankyou Lord for giving me someone with whom I can be quite open and transparent. I've always felt that I have to appear "put together" at all times although I'm definitely not, and that God's the only one who can see what's really going on - and only because He's God, not because I've actually been telling Him everything.
It's kind of odd, really; my circle of friends would tell you I'm very open and generally share easily about things that many or most people would consider quite deep and personal, yet I still feel that this week I've opened up properly for only the second or third time ever. Thankyou, friend :)

I've discovered that I really enjoy writing; whether it's just journalling or writing this blog (however infrequently that may be!). It's a time where bits and pieces of the tangled mess can be taken, placed on the table, sorted and put back in an orderly fashion. I always learn something in these moments and often see a tiny piece of God's puzzle.

It's good to be back.

A Lesson in the Form of a Poem

When I was at school, I was known for many things, but NEVER for my poem-writing. "That's nice dear, but it's supposed to rhyme", one teacher told me, or "That really isn't

in iambic pentameter", another pointed out. Truth be told, I never really cared about writing in iambic pentameter - firstly learning how to spell it, then enjoying it in Shakespeare and finally finding situations in which I could say that delightful phrase were all I really cared about regarding poetry. In fact, having written the words 'iambic pentameter' three times in one paragraph has given me an odd satisfaction!

Imagine, then, my surprise when during creative worship tonight in my cell group God gave me a few lines underneath a drawing that turned into a poem. Once I became aware of what He was trying to do, I said to Him: "Now, really, Lord - you know I don't do well with p

oetry". "That's okay", He replied, "you're not writing this one, I am." I decided I would be wise to not argue with the Lord and thus came about this poem:

The height, the width, the depth, the breadth,

The good, the bad, the thick and thin

What was, what is, what is to come

By His death is all undone.

He lived, He breathed, He died for you

There's naught that you must do.

That's all you need to know, my friend.

That's all you need to know.

"Father, forgive them," Jesus said;

"For they know not what they are doing".

Even on that cross He was

Our loving, Holy King.

Said to His Father, "Take this cup"

"I want not what it contains".

But He bore it all, that truth you see

To this day still remains.

On the day that Jesus rose

The angels, they did sing.

All in heaven, with one voice proclaimed:

"Jesus Christ is KING!"

Mistakes

?

something realised, something lost

then something found, but perhaps too late.

can it be fixed, can it go back to what it was, can it ever be more?

realisations that a little can be enough, it doesn't have to be all or nothing

never forgetting, but ever forgiven?

Beginnings

God has given me a burden for those who can't defend and look after themselves - particularly children, sharing His love for them through me. Since I came to know God a short four years ago, day by day I learn more, understand more and that brings even more questions but with it joy and excitement, faith, hope and also a responsibility. A responsibility to share God with the world. Knowing what a joy and privilege it is for me, how could I deprive others of that? So for the first step of this journey in sharing Jesus with the nations, I'll be stepping out onto a ship that travels through many different countries with the goal of bringing knowledge, help and hope to all who cross our path.

I've been struggling for awhile now with getting deeper - into God's presence and Word and my understanding of that, and deeper into relationships with others. While at pre-field training for the ship, God gave me many small keys into unlocking that area. He's shown me in just a few short days how life-changing it can be, not only for myself but hopefully for others as they see Christ in me. It's only the beginning of a long but very exciting yet challenging journey that is never to end! Part of growing in that, through a friend God showed me a blog can be a way of keeping accountable in my growth with Him, while also presenting yet another opportunity to share more about Him - that hopefully any readers will learn with me as God teaches me many lessons and also for those who want to follow my time on the ship, to pray for God's ministry and the part that I play within that.

So concludes my first posting. Many more to come as God keeps revealing more about Himself and His will - what an exciting time to come!