Moments

"You are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God's place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things." -Christopher McCandless, Into the Wild

I absolutely love watching God work and particularly enjoy it when he uses me in his plans, that I get to see small parts of his plans and workings in not just my life, but also in others lives!

As I shared earlier, the past week has seen me getting out of a spiritual slump of sorts. Strengthening my awareness of God and what he's doing, I have had the privilege of seeing the beginning, middle and ends of various journeys. It's also special how often they link up - that one meeting flows from another or that you'll be made aware of a few people sharing similar circumstances and as you see parts of one, God uses it to show you how best to approach the next.

I was recently part of TeenStreet, a 6 day camp aimed at Christian highschoolers (ages 13-17). For 6 days, life consists of a main meeting where the teens are taught the principle of double vision: loving God (through God time - prayer and Bible reading, walking the narrow path, and having a net of mentors, peers and people to disciple around you) and loving others (serving, supporting and sharing your story). This is backed up with quiet time, small groups, activities/games and worship. The small groups were 6 teens and 2 leaders; this was an incredible time of sharing about God and seeing them learning about him in different ways and coming to know and want him as a bigger part of their lives.

Through TeenStreet I have also formed some incredible friendships for life. This week, one of the campers from TS opened up and shared about some of the challenges he has been facing over the past few years and how he feels that God has been setting him free, culminating at TS!

Another perk of being involved with something such as TS are the connections you can make. I was invited to help out at Shift2010. This was a Christian youth music event with over 3000 teens in attendance! Twice during the night, a gospel presentation was made through the Lifehouse Skit (if you have a few minutes, check this out it is incredibly powerful and moving) which was then explained, a testimony was given and the youth were offered a chance to respond. I had the privilege of praying for the first time with 2 teens that I had earlier connected with at the TeenStreet stall we had been running.

At school this week, I had a spare hour where I was able to connect with one of my students. I am not allowed to proselytise at school, however if a student asks a question then I am free to answer. This girl was asking about Christianity, what is prayer, sharing her journey and asking how Christ fit into that - I was overjoyed to be able to answer her questions and share with her!

A friend I haven't seen since highschool reconnected with me this week. She is going through interesting times, having declared herself a lesbian and living with her girlfriend (15 years her senior) and her girlfriend's 2 children. As we shared about our lives and she discovered that I follow Christ and yet had continued to talk with her even though I know about her choices, she has started asking questions as to why that is and many more things about God.

As we make ourselves available to Christ's leading in our lives, we will be part of special moments and see incredible things. I hope I have been a blessing to some of these people - they have certainly been a blessing to me! What special moments has God been showing you recently?

22 weeks

So, it's time for an update on mission stuff.

A few weeks ago I held a garage sale at my church. Many people contributed items to sell and finally, after much work, my family and I got up extremely early one Saturday morning and opened up shop. We had 3 tables of clothes, 4 tables of books, CDs, DVDs etc as well as everything from small knick-knacks to a lounge set and a pool table! I also had a sausage sizzle going on and let people know what the garage sale was in aid of.

God must have been smiling down on us and blessing me because in spite of a few carnivals and celebrations going on in neighbouring suburbs at the same time and feeling like things were going remarkably slowly with hardly any buyers, at the end of the morning we had made $1600!

So now I have officially booked my tickets as far as London. I will travel with a friend also heading to the ship, from Australia to Kuala Lumpur then onto London for four days before probably stopping to visit family in Holland and arriving in Germany for the pre-ship conference.

Official departure date: January 10, 2011.

Plans and Purposes

"I always learn something in these moments and often see a tiny piece of God's puzzle"







That's another thing that I often mull over: God's plans and purposes. It can be simply put that our purpose is to be in relationship with God and to glorify Him, however there's more to it than that, isn't there?

Then again, does there have to be? As long as we're in a relationship with Him, working on that relationship constantly and aiming to bring Him glory in all, everything should go okay.

In Jeremiah 29:11, God himself says: "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He has plans. Sometimes we get to see them - or parts of them - and sometimes we don't.

I think I'm now just confusing myself and perhaps no longer making sense, if indeed I ever did! I guess that as long as we're doing the 'keeping in relationship and aiming to glorify Him' part then the rest will flow as He plans and wills, and that has to be enough!

Comments and anyone who can try to help unravel this with me - I greatly welcome your feedback!

Back on Track

Christopher Robin: "There now. Did I get your tail back on properly, Eeyore?"
Eeyore: "No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway."



It's so good to be talking properly with God again. Though really, I was still hearing from Him, reading His Word, thinking and talking about Him, reading Christian autobiographies etc. Funny how all that can be happening yet I know I'm not precisely where He wants me. I suppose, looking back, that if this is me feeling far from Him then it's a huge improvement on what was. But there's always room for more improvement!

Thankyou Lord for giving me someone with whom I can be quite open and transparent. I've always felt that I have to appear "put together" at all times although I'm definitely not, and that God's the only one who can see what's really going on - and only because He's God, not because I've actually been telling Him everything.
It's kind of odd, really; my circle of friends would tell you I'm very open and generally share easily about things that many or most people would consider quite deep and personal, yet I still feel that this week I've opened up properly for only the second or third time ever. Thankyou, friend :)

I've discovered that I really enjoy writing; whether it's just journalling or writing this blog (however infrequently that may be!). It's a time where bits and pieces of the tangled mess can be taken, placed on the table, sorted and put back in an orderly fashion. I always learn something in these moments and often see a tiny piece of God's puzzle.

It's good to be back.

A Lesson in the Form of a Poem

When I was at school, I was known for many things, but NEVER for my poem-writing. "That's nice dear, but it's supposed to rhyme", one teacher told me, or "That really isn't

in iambic pentameter", another pointed out. Truth be told, I never really cared about writing in iambic pentameter - firstly learning how to spell it, then enjoying it in Shakespeare and finally finding situations in which I could say that delightful phrase were all I really cared about regarding poetry. In fact, having written the words 'iambic pentameter' three times in one paragraph has given me an odd satisfaction!

Imagine, then, my surprise when during creative worship tonight in my cell group God gave me a few lines underneath a drawing that turned into a poem. Once I became aware of what He was trying to do, I said to Him: "Now, really, Lord - you know I don't do well with p

oetry". "That's okay", He replied, "you're not writing this one, I am." I decided I would be wise to not argue with the Lord and thus came about this poem:

The height, the width, the depth, the breadth,

The good, the bad, the thick and thin

What was, what is, what is to come

By His death is all undone.

He lived, He breathed, He died for you

There's naught that you must do.

That's all you need to know, my friend.

That's all you need to know.

"Father, forgive them," Jesus said;

"For they know not what they are doing".

Even on that cross He was

Our loving, Holy King.

Said to His Father, "Take this cup"

"I want not what it contains".

But He bore it all, that truth you see

To this day still remains.

On the day that Jesus rose

The angels, they did sing.

All in heaven, with one voice proclaimed:

"Jesus Christ is KING!"

Barriers or Not

I have just finished reading a fanfiction story. While normally that fact would be something reluctantly spoken of, perhaps even with a tinge of embarrassment, sometimes a jewel falls into your lap. Such was this story for me tonight. The story drew me in and kept me reading until the early hours of the morning, not willing to put it down. I knew it was amazing, not because of the hundreds of books I have read or because I only found 2 spelling errors in all 24 chapters (unfortunately, quite a rarity on a fanfiction site!), but because of the emotion it evoked in me.

I could feel the characters pain so intensely and the incredibly analytical mind of the author writing the analytical minds of the characters challenged me to not only appreciate the story and the writing and everything else, but to have a look at myself and my life and a myriad of things within. However what struck me the deepest, was the question that for the author to write so incredibly, in such detail, with such accuracy and reality - what has she faced in her life? What has her journey been? To be honest, I stopped periodically to think about that and to feel for the author - not pity, but to question, and to hope that she has faced what needed to be faced and emerged on the other side in one piece. Arriving at the end of the story, the resolution has mostly reassured me that if she isn't yet okay, she soon will be; perhaps the characters' journey was also partially hers - even if only in emotion rather than actuality.

However this story and all that has come with it has brought up an issue I've been faced with a few times in the last few months in particular: when someone else is going through or has gone through challenging times, and there is nothing I can do to help, how to react, empathise, etc etc - I can't even find words, that's how inept I feel. It has come up so many times in different situations with different people and most likely will continue to do so and quite often where God is taking me that this needs to be dealt with, or at least I need to come to some sort of understanding or conclusion, I believe.

The intense pain I feel on their behalf when hearing or realising the pain that others have experienced, and for some it is accepted as normal. Maybe to them it is, but I still feel that it shouldn't have to be. As I think through it, I suppose this is a questioning of God of sorts, of why people have to undergo such ordeals and pain. I know I have no right to question God and there are many things I may never understand or get a satisfactory answer to, however the injustices do not sit well with me.

So with this knowledge, then I turn to the fact that even though I cannot understand or change these things, how do I sympathise/relate/... to these friends and people on these topics? Will I be allowed in deeper, trusted with these things??? Without going through similar hurts and hardships myself, I'm not sure I can. Yes, I've had one or two massive hurdles that seemed more like giant brick walls at the time and many smaller ones that are simply part of life, but nothing to the extent of some situations.

On the other hand, do I need to? I can empathise where possible, be angry at injustices, but in the end, what is needed? What is wanted by the other person? From my own experience, sometimes simply a sympathetic and listening ear is all that is needed. Yes, our experiences can shape us and become part of who we will become yet they do not need to define us. Accepting a person for who they are currently and who they can become in Christ, listening and loving - if that is not enough then I don't know what is.

Ultimately, I cannot forget that my God is a big God. For every situation and relationship that He places in my path, He equips me - never giving me anything I can't handle WITH Him. And that is really all that matters.

Mistakes

?

something realised, something lost

then something found, but perhaps too late.

can it be fixed, can it go back to what it was, can it ever be more?

realisations that a little can be enough, it doesn't have to be all or nothing

never forgetting, but ever forgiven?