Obedience to God

"The golden rule for understanding in spiritual matters is not intellect, but obedience."

-Oswald Chambers

"Our love is a response to God's love. Likewise our obedience flows from our gratitude of what He has done for us".

Jack Kuhatschek

How much does my obeying or disobeying God affect things? There are the big things and the little things. The big things such as listening to the direction He has for your life or if He shouts "NO!" but you decide to go your own way... If I had been disobedient to God in the big things, I wouldn't be qualified as a school teacher or heading out to the mission field next year. But what about the little things? (I know one could argue that the little things can have a huge impact also, but please just go with me on this one for the moment!) If He gives me a word to share in church and I don't step up and do it, then He will often give it to somebody else to say and it will get said either way, so the church doesn't miss out however YOU then miss out on the blessing of having stepped out and been obedient, of knowing that really was God speaking to you and of being a blessing to somebody else.

However in other situations - such as in the supermarket and God gives you a word for a random person. Fear may hold you back - fear of rejection and ridicule, what the other person may think. However if you hold back in such a situation, is somebody else then going to step into the aisle and say, "well I have a word for you" in your place? Not usually. So then it affects the other person - if God truly has His hand on their life and you were supposed to be a step towards bringing them into relationship with Him, He will use other stepping stones, however how does that impact things? Our God is a big God and He can do things without us yet usually chooses to include us and offer us the opportunity to be a part of His plan.

And what about in my own home? God has made it clear to me that I am to speak with my father about his beliefs and to go back to the healing that occurred in his life a few years ago from cancer. Back then I didn't use it as a step towards spiritual healing (yes he was physically healed, but I believe it's better to be a sick person going to heaven than a healthy one going to hell...) however God has brought it up to me in recent times saying it's not too late. In fact, if I had brought it up with dad back then it may not have done much except perhaps tear us apart. Now, it may do the same thing, however my parents already think so lowly of my beliefs and the fact that I choose to cling to them and live my life accordingly that it can't get any worse and the only thing at stake here is my parents salvation - something worth making myself look foolish for.

I believe it's also a test of my obedience; when that moment comes, when God nudges me and says "now is the time, speak up", will I be obedient or will I chicken out? That's also when the matter comes up: is it being courageous and brave, or merely trusting and having faith? Being obedient to God shouldn't be about us, about me, but simply stepping out in faith, albeit a bigger step than usual! I sincerely hope I will be obedient and act upon the measure of faith given to me, however it's a real possibility that I may chicken out. I have no real idea what to say to dad beyond the initial question. I guess it's just a case of trusting that if God tells me to say something that He will then give me the words...

John 15:9-10 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love."

This is where the question of obedience stops being a question, in my eyes. It's a command - "remain in my love". How do we do that? "Obey my commands". It's as simple as that really. In theory, anyway...

Please pray that this will be the case, that I won't chicken out when God says it's time, that I'll be sensitive to His guiding particularly as this conversation takes place and continual prayer for both my parents would be appreciated if you have a moment.

you're looking into my heart

When the music fades & all is stripped away
And I simply come longing just to bring
Something that's of worth, that will bless your heart.

I'll bring you more than a song,
for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within,
through the way things appear - you're looking into my heart.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about you, all about you Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it,
it's all about you Jesus, it's all about you.

King of endless worth,
no one could express how much you deserve.
Though I'm weak and small all I have is yours,
every single breath.

-Heart of Worship (Matt Redman).
---

With every step forward, there are more pitfalls to avoid. God has been teaching me and taking me further with Him through these past few months and I'm so grateful, it's been such a blessing! Yet I continually have to check myself for pride. It is such an ugly thing that the Lord detests, yet it is my biggest struggle... Just to be completely candid and honest with you all.

Proverbs 16:18-19 Pride goes before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.

Proverbs 16:5 The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: they will not go unpunished.

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love... does not boast, it is not proud...



Whenever God pulls me up on this sin, it is such a kick in the rear and I fall back down to my knees - exactly where I should be. There He is able to teach me what is needed, yet as He moves me forward I stand back up. Why is it so hard to move forwards yet stay on my knees? I see a lifetime of surrendering everything and handing it back over to God time and time and time again... Is this one lesson I'll have to keep relearning for the rest of my life?

In God's Hands

Hmm... realised that as part of the purpose of starting this blog was to keep people updated on what was happening with my journey on the ship, that I should probably updated as I have now been officially accepted by both OM Australia and the team on the Logos Hope itself! Yay.

And so continues the next part of the journey. OMA sent a book out called 'Friend Raising' by Betty Barnett. I haven't yet completed it, but it's a very interesting read so far, talking on the concept of building/maintaining relationships and that any financial support that comes from that is simply a blessing, putting money into its correct place - far, far, down the ladder of importance (another blog to come on this topic, I think).

As one of my concerns had previously been maintaining relationships with those back home during my absence, this book is a great help. Building and maintaining relationships is something God first began to really push to me when in Melbourne during the original pre-field training for OM. A large part of the book actually deals with communication and maintaining relationships - something of more concern and importance to me than the finance, as I'm sure that if this mission is truly God's will then He will provide therefore the finances are not resting heavily with me, rather a chance to see God work and His glory to prevail!

So far, I think the biggest thing God is using the mission for - even if I never actually go - is my parents. Not yet believers, they are very much struggling at the moment. Only just accepting that "maybe this God-thing isn't a phase anymore" (after four years - what a very long phase!), to then hear about the plans for the ship and all that entails... Firstly, that their only daughter will be going away from them for 2 years - this, they would have gotten over eventually; it's not like I haven't lived out from under their roof for two years already. Secondly, however, that I want to go with a Christian organisation to spread the word about something they aren't sure actually exists! And thirdly - and perhaps this concerns them the most, I need to pay to do this trip. $1500/month over at least 2 years is quite a large sum and without having faith in an awesome God to provide (He's proven His faithfulness in all things including finance to me many times already), this greatly worries them.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Aside from all their concerns however, the opportunities to discuss the mission trip, what it entails, why I'm doing it, who God is, what He's done in my life and more about Him - these are all subjects now discussed quite often at the dinner table, for the first time ever. Praise God. They are never easy discussions - I don't like my parents looking at me as if they are contemplating whether a mental institution might be a good idea and mum has openly said she thinks I'm partially brain-washed - however God is being discussed in this house!!! I gave them a copy of Lee Strobel's 'A Case for the Resurrection' this Easter with the hope that at least one of them will actually read it.

God has had His hand on this family for awhile now - how else does a young child of non-believers get sent to Christian summer camp for 5 years running!? How does a man have intensive surgery near his brain with only 20% chance of success and come through completely unscarred? How does a man get healed from cancer - if not for God? God's been prompting me in this area for awhile now and whenever I've gone to make a move, something massive happens that causes me to withdraw. This situation has made me increasingly aware of the battlefield and the spiritual warfare that we are in whenever we move to further God's kingdom.

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

-2 Cor. 10:3-5.

God is moving in my household. It may take time - maybe years, however I have every faith in Him who sees all, knows all, loves all. Right now, He is calling me to step up in this fight and if you have a moment, I'd love for you to pray for my parents and feel free to keep me accountable on the steps I'm taking with them as God leads.

Creation Spills Forth His Glory

"The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world." -Psalm 19:1-4.

"Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens". -Psalm 119:89.

It's wonderful how God can use anything to speak to us, if we’re only willing to listen. Watching the movie ‘Calendar Girls’ tonight, a speech was given on sunflowers as follows:

“I don’t think there’s anything on this planet that trumpets life more than the sunflower. For me, that’s because of the reason behind its name. Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun. During the course of the day, the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky; a satellite dish for sunshine. Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it.”
Isn’t that an apt description of Jesus’ disciples? We should follow the Son, tracking His journey and following in His ways. Wherever Jesus is in a situation, how He chooses to say or teach something, we should be on the lookout for Him and listening for his voice. So rather than sunflowers, we are Son-followers – also known as Christians.

Each and every time I go out at night in particular, I am reminded of how big our God is, that all the stars in the sky, everything under and above them was created by Him... I find it impossible to not worship a God who is capable of such beauty and wonder.

"Praise the LORD from the earth,

you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,

lightning and hail, snow and clouds,

stormy winds that do His bidding

you mountains and all hills,

fruit trees and all cedars,

wild animals and all catle,

small creatures and flying birds,

kings of the earth and all nations,

you princes and rulers on earth,

young men and maidens,

old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the LORD,

for His name alone is exalted;

His splendour is above the earth and the heavens.

-Psalm 148:7-13

His Power is Made Perfect in Weakness

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" - Phil. 4:4.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor. 12:9-10.

So once we assess our motives in what we do, the other side of things is that when stuff happens, how do we react?

EVERYTHING SHOULD LEAD US TO WORSHIP. Definitely the good things that happen, but even in the negative - that is when it's hardest yet most important. Of course it is easy to worship when all is well, but the thing is to let the negative situations push us into the comfort of God's arms, to acknowledge our lack of control and reach out for God's help as Jesus did.

He is our ultimate example. Recently, God gave an amazing insight to a friend of mine and it is now slowly sinking itself into my mind: What was Jesus' hardest moment? The cross. Imagine what He must have been going through and thinking in those last moments when He called out, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matt. 27:46). A time of ultimate pain and separation from the Father. Yet the last words out of His mouth were "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit" (Luke 23:46). In Jesus' darkest and hardest moment, He chose to commit Himself to the Lord.

Let us be led, guided and prompted by Jesus' example.

Is It For the Lord?

Acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. -1 Chronicles 28:9

From the earlier post of not wanting to come down from the mountain-top, God showed me the importance of taking the connection with him and the lessons learnt into everyday life to be able to impact others for Christ and fight the battles in the trenches. I had been concerned about losing that connection with God - how silly and insignificant do those worries seem. Looking back I can see God's hand on my life in the 17 years before I truly acknowledged Jesus as my Saviour, why would that change now that I'm in relationship with Him??

One of the next thoughts then was how do I use it to impact others and help others grow and see Jesus. And yes, this is a valid thought however God has made it clear that that is not to be my focus. Though yet all we do is seen, analysed and judged by others and that we can only hope to positively influence them for Christ, it IS NOT FOR THE WORLD or even the people who may gain salvation that we do what we do, but for Christ Himself; for His pleasure and glory.

He is to be our continual focus and the centre of my life. Only then is He able to use me for His purposes, but the key there is that it is God using me, not me doing things for Him in my own strength. So - why do we what we do; is it for people or is it for the Lord?

To be brutally honest, it doesn't really matter what place we find ourselves in right now. The point of our life is to point to God. Whatever we are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His.

"God is far more concerned about your finding your place in Christ Himself than your place in His service. The essential thing in Christian living is not where you are going or what you are doing but in whose strength you are living" - George Verwer.

God Cares About People

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4: 16-19



People. Apparently God's best creation. Also His most frustrating one! God cares about people. He cares about them when we can't. Sometimes that is the only reason we can care about people is because He does. The caring doesn't make it easy to get close, to push past barriers, to open ourselves up; that is our own choice, but God does the caring.

About a month ago now, God did something that was new to me. He often brings new people into my life, but never before has He told me to hold onto someone, not to let go, that He had brought them into my life and me into their life for a reason, to care for them NO MATTER WHAT. I knew straight away that it wasn't going to be easy. I love this person wholeheartedly, but already in this short period there have been some ups and downs, a real rollercoaster and that's not going to stop. However some of the lessons I have learnt through their life and in walking life with them - a tenacity for God, what it is to hunger for Him, what real joy is and how it can only come from God. That He is our only hope and strength, to really think for myself, to consider others more, to consider other viewpoints, to truly understand the need for God in each of our lives in a way more real than ever before, and that's only part of it.

People have their limits. I'd never come across someone's before. I hadn't before felt the need to try to understand someone at that level. Another new experience. It was harder than I expected. Confusion in not understanding, a struggle with wanting to understand, respecting boundaries, hope that ground can be recovered - that I've not gone too far, regret for pain caused, asking for forgiveness.

It also brought up the question about what my limits are and where they are to be found. In this last month they have been pushed as much as they have up to this point and when approached in a caring matter by someone whom I trust, it appears those gates are flimsy indeed. I am yet to discover whether that is bad or good. It is slightly daunting to have seen another's barriers and to realise what has caused them to be so. Dare I wonder what God has in store for me in the future? James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Does the lack of real trials in my life mean I am immature and incomplete, and/or is it an indicator that those trials are yet to come?

It is a joy, a struggle, a privilege and a journey, a journey that God has made clear is not to end. God doesn't give up on people, therefore I won't give up on you either, as long as He gives me the strength and love to continue.

Psalm 139

¹ O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.